Compliments Make Me Feel Awkward

Awkward complimentsThis showed up on my Facebook page one morning. It’s so true for me. I’ve never known how to deal with compliments. I automatically say something to negate the compliment. I think I know why. I don’t think I’m worthy of a compliment especially on how I look.

I have a long history of believing that people are just being nice even though I did put on make-up. That I did pick the right flattering outfit. That I did go with matching earrings and necklace. And above all I’m wearing the appropriate expensive perfume. So why would I not accept a compliment with a plain, straight forward, “Thank you”? I’m better at it now and I am confident enough to make myself presentable but decades of being fat, acne-faced Diane have left their mark on me.

I sometimes do workshops and I feel very self-conscious when I start (get the butterflies flying in formation) but once I do start, people are just focused on what I bring to them not on the size of my dress. I don’t know if it’s being a woman raised in the 50’s and 60’s or the type of father I had or Seventeen magazine. I just am.

I have become a bit better but I do have to do it consciously.  But isn’t that the point? Being self-aware is one of the steps to being a whole human being. I am not just a brilliant mind. (See I can be conceited if I want.) I am not just a caring person or a empathetic friend and teacher. I am the sum of my parts. I need to own them. I need to own me and that’s even when I look fabulous!

I can do this.
I will do this.

Thank you.

Diane Kirby

Grape fun

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on September 6, 2015.

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