The Agressive Guilt Puppy – Trying To Normalize

It’s almost 4 weeks since my right knee was replaced in the most painful surgery I’ve ever had and I’ve had way too many; more than a dozen being completely knocked out. And, on this point, this has given the medical profession the opportunity to find the exact combination of drugs for the perfect level/lack of consciousness for cutting me open without negative side effects except those of the surgery. Sigh, practice makes perfect? But…I’m trying to feel normal now.

One of my many nemesis, The Crave Monster

One of my many nemesis, The Crave Monster

I’m still feeling a wee bit of pain but it’s mostly after doing my exercises and I’ve got more mobility in my knee, even my orthopod (orthopedic surgeon) is happy with my progress. I’m off the heavy painkillers and only taking the “on-demand” ones. I’m moving around a lot more. I’ve been out of the house a couple times in the last week for wonderful social situations. I’ve started cooking, cleaning and doing mousewifey things as I can. I still get tired, sore and cranky but not as often or fast. I’m beginning to normalize. But there is a down side to trying to normalize – The Crave Monster.

I had lost 14 pounds after the surgery and truly didn’t feel very hungry. And when I ate I couldn’t eat very much, but – my appetite is coming back, and with it The Crave Monster. I’ve been wanting fries, chips, almost any salty snack….but there aren’t many in the house so I don’t have to fight too much. But Norm bought Hawkins Cheezies the last time he went shopping and I know they’re there. Up there on top of the fridge – calling me –  hawkins cheeziesnice salty, cheesy, crunchy corn. Each nugget is a unique shape and the bright orange flavour dust is distributed in varying concentration – MMMmmmm…

Sigh, along with The Crave Monster comes the guilt puppy(ies). I don’t need junk food. I have apples and plums. I have eggs and so many baby carrots… Oh yeah, the lettuce in the garden is growing like weeds so salad city, here we come. I’ll put tomatoes on the shopping list, we’re all out. I don’t want to gain any weight back. I’m very close to a milestone weigh-in and I want to make that one this summer and go back to work in September as the “new and improved Diane”.

I will use this aggressive guilt puppy to help guide me. I want to be as normal as I can. Cravings are normal but healthy is more normal, right? Thanks for listening.  ;D  Diane

Hand reaching for Cheezies

Hand reaching for Cheezies!

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on June 24, 2015.

One Response to “The Agressive Guilt Puppy – Trying To Normalize”

  1. teh puppy

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