Does This Hat Make Me Look Fat?

hat stylesI’ve noticed that everyone is wearing hats again and it is so great. I got a straw fedora 8 years ago in Kensington in Toronto. It made the best sun hat and was so cool, my little white hat. I have a huge head (not fat) and most hats are not flattering. I even took it to Cuba where Panamas are so famous. Now, they are all the rage for men and women. What bugs me is that most “cool” people don’t what style they are wearing. They call it a Panama and it’s usually a Trilby. Oh well, it’s not my business I guess. But the hat is what people see before they even look at my face. Hmmm is this a type of camouflage? I’ve been wearing big earrings since the ’60s (I was only a young teen and it was the ’60s) to keep my face looking smaller. I’m so smart.(?)

What else can I wear to keep the focus off my shape? For example, I have a black skort that is so comfortable and truly looks like a nice little skirt. But a woman my age would not normally wear a skirt that short except to play golf and when I did the “look over your shoulder” at the backside of it – it did make my butt look big and that’s not the biggest part of me. I guess I’ll just wear that one to cut the grass. But I do have clothes and accessories that distract the eye from my true form. I call them “multitude of sin clothes” because they hide a multitude of sins.

bodyfatcartoonIf I didn’t want to worry about how I looked I would lose weight, right? It’s not working. So I must resort to distraction. We all know the rules about horizontal and vertical stripes and big flowers. Black is slimming and unless you’re a bride or a snowman don’t go all white! I almost never go out in public without a necklace and earrings. I have some interesting jewelry and I try to keep the eye level at my upper chest and neck not at the ever-lowering bust line. And my earrings are spectacular. Well, I think they are.

Cayman Green

Cayman Green

Then there are my toenails. I hardly ever see them naked. 11 years ago I was going for my first hip replacement and I could not bend over without excruciating pain so my oldest daughter painted my toenails a breathtaking Cayman green for me. I was in the operating room getting prepped and the nurse said that the nail polish had to go but the doctor said, “Can you find her pulse on her foot?” “Yes.” she answered. He said, “Mark it and she can keep the polish.” And my toenails have been polished ever since. I have so many bright and notable colours and a bunch of separate sparkly polishes to go over top. The sparkles keep the polish on longer. My dentist noticed my metallic blue toes when I was getting my tooth fixed. I thanked her and blessed my sandals.

I like getting noticed, but not for muffin tops, camel toes, bra bulges or bat wings. I want to be noticed for me. And my accessories like  hats, glasses, jewelry help do that. They are indicators of my creativity, sense of whimsy and uniqueness. I have many flaws and I am fat. But I’ve grown up with that so have been trying to deflect negative feed back for a very long time. My close friends love me for who I am and always tell me to just be me. I am. So as I get ready for 7 days of lake and pool fashion, answer me this, “Does this hat make me look fat?”

Thanks for listening.  ;D  Diane

last words

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on August 8, 2014.

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