Advice From a Loser

I’ve been neglecting my blog over the last two weeks. I’ve tried to write a bit but with spring break holidays and a short (in time) road trip I just haven’t gotten around to it.

But, a couple of emails have prompted me to finish this post. Dr Amson, the bariatric surgeon that did my sleeve gastrectomy and one of my hernia repairs, recommends weight loss surgery patients email me for information on how it went for me. And yesterday I talked with a gentleman from Fort St John and emailed back and forth with a local lady. I do not see myself as a “success” story but I’m on my way. I was writing this response when I realized I could use my own advice. The email asked me how my surgery or the need for it had affected my family and those close to me. It made me really think and I needed to count my blessings. The following is my response to her response to my first email

Thank you for your kind words. Great question about the impact on my family. They have been amazing, they have supported me through so many surgeries, you can only imagine. But…(isn’t there aways a but?) They truly haven’t experienced what I have gone/am going through. I guess you could say I am a huge “cautionary tale”. I have two daughters and a husband. The girls are very different and one is very slim and the other is an “athletic build”. Neither wants to go where I’ve been or where I might end up. My husband has never been cruel, unsupportive or piling on the guilt trips but he breathes out calories and I breathe them in.

They want me to succeed but they do not micromanage or criticize me if I go off target. My husband and I are working together for the first time to help each other lose weight. (At 64 he has developed a small “pooch”.) It was hard at first because they felt guilty when they ate in front of me or brought goodies or desserts. They got used to it. My friends and work associates have never criticized me for what or how I eat or how I looked. My problem is that I have not “drastically” changed my eating habits except for the first year. I feel guilty if I don’t cook properly for the whole family and am in my glory with a holiday meal. I eat smaller portions and on smaller plates. They want to help. The biggest change is – I am a waste of money at a buffet. I can’t eat more than $5 worth at a time.

It sounds like you are where I was 6 years ago (it was a long wait). The time to expect change in your path is NOW! I don’t know when your surgery is scheduled but you need to change so much now!!!! Exercise! Even a bit of walking everyday is wonderful. You need to think before you eat: is it head hunger, heart hunger or do you really need food? I have some strategies an use them. I now chew a whole bunch of times and fill up faster.

I have acknowledged that it is a slow process FOR ME. But it doesn’t have to be that way for everyone. Don’t beat yourself up. Accept how you brain and body work (and it isn’t usually together). You are in the process of losing weight but the the harder part is hanging who you are. I’m not used to compliments or questions on how IT is going? I’m adjusting many parts of my life and personal identity.

Thank you for your good wishes and I send them back. Don’t “evereat!”

 

Thanks for listening.  ;D  Diane

Inner demons dance

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~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on March 26, 2014.

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