Denial is Not just a River In Egypt

Big jeans

This is how I see myself – denial!

Denial is one of the hardest things to fight when you are trying to lose weight. I’ve told myself I was OK and not as big as I really was. I was looking at pair of my “skinny” jeans when I was doing the laundry on Sunday and checked what size they were. I am currently wearing pants ranging from 18-22. These jeans were 18 and I think they look pretty good on me, or is it, I look pretty good in them? Then I thought back to the biggest size jeans I ever owned. They were woman’s size 28. That’s size not waist!!! They did fit a little loose but….Wow! I’m a long way from the 300lb days. But (and “but” refutes the denial, right?) I still have a way (weigh) to go.

denialDenial is lying. I lie to myself frequently – it’s one of my biggest guilt puppies. I make promises and know I’m not going to keep them. Well, when I promise, I plan on keeping it but then reality kicks in and I eat or forget to exercise (Oops! Denial again!).

I’m facing a milestone birthday this year and with it comes a number of decisions that will profoundly affect my future. I’ll be entering the “Senior” realm in reality. I guess us “Zoomers”, lively Baby Boomers,  are all getting to this phase if we haven’t made it already. Canada Pension, medical insurance changes, more benchmark health checks, all are coming, to say nothing about the physical downgrading of our/my joints, vision and mental health. I am getting older but I still refuse to grow up!!!

Someone told me the other day how sad she was that her metabolism had changed since she had her baby a year ago and she wasn’t looking forward to a thicker waist and droopy boobs. I looked at her and looked at myself and had a very difficult time feeling empathy for her at 25 years of age since I had a few more years on her.

Denial-realityOh well. It is time to be honest with myself and continue to lose weight and exercise as much as I can with my broken-down joints. We have a walking club at work and are starting a 6-week Health Challenge. I plan (I haven’t promised, yet.) to pledge 2000 steps a day. That means I will be wearing my pedometer again from when I get up until I go to bed. I will be counting every step I take. I can and will do this. I have done it before and if I’ve done it before it is very hard to deny so I must be able to do it again. Right? Of course.

Thanks for listening.  ;D      Diane

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on February 2, 2014.

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