Help me, Diane!

help wantedThis is the post where I “positive talk” to myself. But not yet, I’ll explain. I just got off my bathroom scale and almost had a heart attack and I would have deserved one! My scale said I’ve gained 6 pounds in the last 2 1/2 weeks. Holy Crap, Batman! I know the how, when, where and probably the why, too. I have been doing much eating and drinking and little exercise. So what would I say to myself if I was getting advice?

“Stop it, Diane! You are here right now and your life and choices start as of right now! You are blaming yourself and making excuses. How does this make you feel? Guilty, angry, sad, disappointed etc? These are negative and destructive emotions which will not help get to where you want to be.

But, let me ask you, where do you want to be?”

“I want to be skinny and healthy!”

“Why?”

“DUH! I need to lose weight so I can get my body fixed, lower my blood pressure, stop worrying about dying from a complication of diabetes, walk with no pain and make my family, friends and Doctor proud of me.”

“So, why aren’t you doing all the things you know will help you do this?”

plan A“I don’t know?”

“Yes, you do…”

“I like being a failure? I don’t think so. I like it when people notice good things I’ve done.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that people what to encourage and support you, and when things don’t seem to be working they don’t point to you and say, ‘Wow, I see you’re gaining weight again. What’s wrong with you?’ No, they stay silent and you only hear the voices in your head. Voices speaking old, bad lines from a script you wrote a long time ago.”

Voices in my head” So, how do I fix this? Notice I didn’t say can.”

” You could actually pause and listen then…talk back. You are very quick-thinking and have some great come-backs. You know what the definitions of facetious and sarcasm are. Do it to the voices.

You could write a new script, too. You know you are strong. You’ve been through a lot and deal with things very well. Failure is a stranger except with your weight. So, think hard about what makes losing weight different.”

…Very long silence…

“OK, Diane. Tell me somethings you did today that are positive.”

“I’m writing this blog.”

“OK. Anything else?”

“I’m food journalling again.”

“Good, and…”

“I went to Costco and did not buy any chips, prepared foods like buffalo chicken strips, goyza or ravioli. And I didn’t buy the Chipotle Roasted Garlic Aoili (2 to a pack) or the 750 ml Hellava Good Dip. I stuck to my list.”

“Very nice, why didn’t you buy the things you listed, you must have looked at them and wanted them.”

“I knew I would eat them.”

“Who told you that.”

“You did. I mean I did. Holy Cow! I did it. I talked to myself in a healthy way.”

“Good. Now you can do this but I want you to remember something.”

“What’s that?”

“You are neither 100% good or 100% bad.”

“Wha…?”

“If you slip up and listen to the You-Can’t-Do-It voices, it’s only a 20% slip you are still 80% good. Start from there and savour the 20%.”

“Hmmm..I like that idea. If I think (and voices re-enforce it) that I’m 100% bad I’ll keep being, eating, doing bad.”

“You’ve got it.”

“OK. I’m going to start with that and keep doing what I did today. I’ll check back with you later. I am a little worried about all this talking to myself. There really are voices in my head, aren’t there??”

“Of course, but they are all you, so rewrite the script and talk back when they bully you. Take care. Love you.”

“Thanks, love you, too.”

And to all the rest of you out there thanks for listening, too. ;D Diane

PS: I think I walked off a half a pound on my 30 minute walk in Costco! No samples!!!

As when I was writing this I actually typed “vices in my head” instead of “voices in my head”, a Freudian slip if there ever was one.

Give 100%

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~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on July 19, 2013.

6 Responses to “Help me, Diane!”

  1. Hi, Diane. Happened to see your link float by on my Facebook feed and read your post with interest.
    Good work, girl! It is SO hard to change the voices in our heads when they have been negative for so long – buuuut, it can indeed be done! 🙂
    I could analyse at some length about society and the media and what they do to convince even the slimmest, most gorgeous, perfect young women – and men, too! – that they aren’t thin enough, blonde enough, rich enough, pretty enough, busty enough, sexually available enough…. UGH.

    It’s gotten so bad with Photoshopping that even the world’s top ‘supermodels’ don’t even look like themselves in their overly-perfected, plasticised images! These are women that are those genetic rareties of something like 0.05% of the population with the very slim yet tall body type in the first place. But now, in their ad campaigns, even *skin folds* around the underarm/bra top area, side of the waist when a hip is cocked to the side and the skin folds, or over the knees and elbows where there exists a little extra skin so we can bend these joints without tearing out skin!

    Yes, even these fat-free skin folks are being ironed out in Photoshop, leading young women to feel the folds of skin they have are ‘gross’ and ‘abnormal’ because they’re seeing so many images where the models don’t have them, it’s become normalized to them to see this!!!

    If so-called supermodels aren’t even perfect enough anymore, what hope do we as mere mortals have?!

    Well, I think the strongest first steps we can take are to do what you’re working on: changing those awful negative tapes that replay in our heads millions of times – and serve us not one single speck of good in our lives!

    You deserve the best in all areas; don’t stop until you’re happy.

    Thanks for sharing a small piece of your journey with me. I wish you all the best in your journey!!

    (aka Lisa T.)

  2. Hi Diane,

    I have literally just had the same weight gain slap in the face.
    You’re post is exactly what I needed to hear. You’re a star!

    Keep writing!

    Morag

  3. I DID see your message within the day, but finally getting back to thank you sincerely for your kind words!
    One never expects life’s curveballs, so to speak, and I think we all must do the best we can with what we have… and try to work on increasing what we have, like tools in our toolbox of Coping with Life. 🙂
    In other words, we all have struggles at times and, while they might appear different, they are often difficult, painful and even scary – signs of growth, too.
    Good for you for sharing your journey; you never know who it might reach and touch these days – a potentially profound gift to another, even if you never know of it!
    Keep up the great work. 😀

  4. Thank you! And you…”Keep on keeping on!”

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