What Will I Be For Halloween?

This is a possibility, too.  Times-Colonist 2012

It is now the Friday before Halloween and I haven’t even thought of what I will wear. I have quite a bit of stuff I could just dig out from former years but….

I’ve dressed in all black, added big hoop earrings and a bright head scarf then walked around with a crystal ball. Yes, I was an Extra-large Medium! I’ve carried Cheerios in my pocket and took them out before I shot them with a water gun. Yup, a cereal killer. I’ve been Momlith, the Sword Matron. I really like that one but the two blue bowls as chest armour were over the top! I won a prize at work for my Miss Langford 1984 (done in 2009), complete with pregnancy and Lucky beer can. I even had a black eye my husband made me wash off so the kids in the neighbourhood wouldn’t think it was real – hmmmm.

I won’t be at work that day so I don’t have to be too creative. I’m thinking of putting on the pearls, twin set, sensible shoes and go as the ultimate Dominatrix – MOM! Or maybe my presentation pant suit, flip out the ID and go as the Thought Police?

Halloween is an opportunity for fantasy. It’s also an opportunity to eat all the chocolate you want. I love kisses – molasses kisses. They were my favourites when I was a kid. I liked the soft ones and the hard ones you really had to work at. I believe that people give them out now-a-days just to make the parents reminisce about the old-days, too.

My husband, Norm, is giving out pop again, this year. No Coke, it’s bad enough the kids will be wired on all that sugar, they don’t need the caffeine, too. I am personally against sugary treats but it is Halloween and how can you not love tiny chocolate bars? But, do you know what happens if you give out things other than sugar? Toilet papered trees, soaped windows (which may be a lost art) and the scorn of the neighbourhood kids. Nobody wants to be Mr. Wilson or THOSE PEOPLE!

I think I’ll wear my tights, an exercise leotard, leg warmers, the chopped sweatshirt from Miss Langford, a head band and be Jaime Lee Curtis in Perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I admire Jamie Lee Curtis, she’s the kind of woman I wish I was – NOW!

So, I’ll take my sense of satire and dress to it on Halloween. I’d go for the scary things but no one has had the courage to promote an obese vampire or fat zombie. Personally, I think it would be pretty funny! I refuse to go as a pumpkin. I look hideous in that colour!

Thanks for listening. ;D Diane

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on October 26, 2012.

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