Deep Sighs as Opposed to Big Size!

I‘m once again at a place where I sigh a lot and contemplate my place in the world. My world of course, after all, I can’t really compete with the Olympics, World Peace or the end to world hunger. I’m tired of sitting around. Sigh. I am frustrated about not being able to do simple things like weed the garden or empty the dryer. Of course, I hate weeding but I really don’t mind laundry.

I want to be able to make a really good meal but I can’t stand without support and I cannot turn on my left foot or move side to side. Sigh. I shouldn’t say “can’t”. I will say, “I am not allowed”. I even understand what can/will happen if I do not follow the myriad, but exactly the same, orders of the health professionals around me. I do not want to go through this again. I will let my hip heal.

My STD (Short Term Disability, silly, not a sexually transmitted disease, sigh!) runs out today. I’ve sent in all the forms for LTD (Long Term Disability) but it may take a couple of weeks to kick in. But I’m not really worried about that. We’ve managed on less and we can do it again if we have to. I did get to read the doctors’ reports and eeeewww, the surgery was pretty complicated and I now have three, 3, screws in my bottom. They are actually in my hip socket where they had to drill and clean down to bleeding bone. Are you all gagging now? I think it’s pretty cool.

Enough of that. I’m getting my evereating hunger back – and disabled me, not being able to burn copious calories. Sigh. I know the key is to make sure Norm doesn’t bring in great food and snacks with the groceries. I will drink more water, lots more water but I’m not supposed to bend over to get the ice cubes from the bottom freezer of our fridge. Sigh. Then there’s the leftovers. We are back to just two of us in this big house and cooking seems to make food for at least four. It’s good that I don’t have to stand and make lunch in the house in food in my mouth.

I need some aerobics. I need some walking. I know I’m becoming more aware because I now look at my size not my incision. I need to lose more weight and I can do it while I’m recovering. It does involve the “burn more than you eat” dynamics. And that means I have to eat less … and drink lots of fluids. I will never be skinny, but I really want my body parts to last al least 30 more years. I need them to last at least 30 more years.

Sigh. I WANT to last 30 more years. I am going to have to take charge of myself! Sigh! Again! I can do this. I will do this. Back to journalling everything I put in my mouth today. I haven’t done that for a while, sigh. Back to routine! I do not want to be this big anymore. I will trade both my size and sighs for good feelings and positivity! Of course Flo Rida is on the radio and does make it difficult to feel sorry for myself with that song in my head.

Thanks for listening. ;D

Flo Rida – Get a Good Feeling     Click if you want it in your head, too! Have a wonderful day! ;D

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on July 30, 2012.

One Response to “Deep Sighs as Opposed to Big Size!”

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