What’s the Skinny? – A Rose By Any Other Name Is A Rose!

“What’s the skinny?” Is defined by the Urban Dictionary as meaning: “What’s up?”; “What’s going on?”; “Give me some information.”  So what is up? What’s cool, what’s not? I heard a couple of teens saying this while I was standing in line at a local grocery store. I wasn’t actually standing, I was leaning on my walker. (Insert “Sigh” here.”) It was a saying I hadn’t heard in years. I love language and how it revolves, evolves and dissolves. But it got me to thinking how we use words to hurt ourselves and others.

The news and internet are all over an incident where some 13 year-olds bullied a 68-year old woman on a bus until she cried and beyond. It was all recorded and posted on YouTube. I don’t know what’s worse: the bullying or the recording and posting. No one stopped it! Isn’t that abetting?

I remember being called all kinds of names when I was a kid. Skinny was never one of them. My oldest was called “Skinny”, “Beanpole” and “Kermie” (short for Kermit the frog and sort of sounding like Kirby). My youngest came home from school one day devastated and asked me if being a “Tomboy” was a bad thing. She played soccer with the boys not keep-away with the Twinkies (Oh oh, I did it, too!).

Name calling is so freakin’ common. We even do it to ourselves. When I had kids, “Stupid” became a forbidden word. I had been called it all my life and I still do it to myself when I do something I wasn’t supposed to. It slips out so easily. When my sister was visiting, I realized that I was calling silly people, men or women, “Cows”. No reflection on cows but the alternative would have been a swear word.  My Dad was mean that way. He called me “Fat” and “Stupid” frequently. And anyone who is overweight will tell you that insulting or bullying people to lose weight will actually push us the other way. My self-esteem is still trying to recover.

We are so tied up in how the public sees us and their perception of what they see.  Not just us “”Fat/Obese/Morbidly Obese” people but most people. Are they looking at my wrinkles? Am I wearing a cool style/brand of shoe? Is my gray/brown/mousey brown/thinning hair showing? Is my panty/bra/tan line showing? Do I have too much/little/young/old makeup on? And on and on and on…..

Names are words and words can hurt even more than sticks and stones can. We are prejudging and discriminating against people even before we meet them. Do/did our kids call people names? Do we encourage torture in the name of people bettering themselves? I can’t watch a lot of the “realty” weight related TV shows. Some one always is putting someone else down. Someone is always being embarrassed on purpose. I heard one “contestant”  say she needed to be “shamed” or she wouldn’t have kept on with the program. I use the word loosely, because I suspect that they were screened, coached, encouraged and even paid to act the way they do on TV. Fame is a mighty big carrot to get people to do things. And bad press is better than no press at all, right?

Oh well, when I get my hip back, I’m re-entering the Biggest Winner out here and I will be working on my goal, set by me (and the Dr, of course), on a path that’s right for me and with all the positive encouragement I can use. I really don’t want to be called a “loser” or “PHAT”. I don’t really like people yelling things at me unless it’s: “Way to go!”, “Only a little bit more!”, or “You’re almost there!” and the very best thing anyone can yell at me: “You did it, Diane!!!” And I will do it. I am not a sadist or a masochist. I want people to feel good about themselves even if they don’t think they deserve it. Doing something for yourself to better or “right” yourself is a good thing. So, if you want to be a palaeontologist on the moon – go for it! Of course, you get to do your own reality check, I honestly cannot see myself as a runway model in New York city, maybe at the Victoria Airport!

Thanks for listening. ;D Diane

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on June 23, 2012.

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