It’s My Pity Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To

I did not have a good day, yesterday. I had no good reason to go all maudlin and self-pitying (sorry for the really bad word usage). I even have a huge guilt puppy from feeling sorry for myself when there are so many people in the world who need me to feel sorry for them. But maybe that’s it? Is feeling sorry for other people a way to feel better or at least better than them?

Nobody deserves pity! They (I) deserve concern, empathy and solutions. What the f*** does pity give you anyways except feelings of worthlessness (receiving) and superiority (giving). And this is a situation where it is better to give than to receive?

So, what am I going to do about it? “Suck it up!” Is a catch phrase I hear often. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” Another one. I actually am using the logo on the right for my Facebook picture right now. Two people commented how much they like it. I’ve got mixed emotions about that one.

I want empathy not sympathy. I complain about my leg dislocating and having to sit down and crunch it back in the socket and there are people who have to go to the hospital every time that happens. Ok, I feel a little better. I haven’t written the great Canadian novel but there are people in Canada who can’t read or write. Oh oh, I’m feeling guilty about that one. I’ve been posting three to seven hundred words a day and I have students who have a hard time composing a paragraph and yet, they are doing it and doing it well! OK, I’m beginning to feel like I’m helping do good.

What’s the difference between empathy and sympathy?
Empathy is: understanding, compassion, responsiveness, and identification with.
Sympathy is: kindness, consideration, approval, and – wait for it – pity.

Sympathy is not a bad thing. It has its place and makes people feel that someone is there for them and that the world cares. I want sympathy when I lose something or someone. But how can someone say they know how I feel when they can’t even imagine what’s going on inside me? They are feeling sorry for me and that’s okay. They care and I thank them but I am not going to pity myself! Not right now. I did that yesterday.

I sat in the sun on my deck. I read for a while. Watched the hummingbirds. It just made me feel worse. I wasn’t at work, or the beach, or anywhere without a cane or walker. Sigh. But now, I’m getting off the Pity Train. I’ll deal with my guilt. I will get out of the house today (I have a chair in the back yard). I’ll even put on sunscreen and let the sun shine on my face.

So, don’t feel sorry for me! Feel relieved if you want to feel something. But actually, you can feel anything you want. That is your privilege and mine, too. I have no right to tell anyone what to feel. And right now, I’m feeling pretty good.

Thanks for listening! ;D Diane

The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up & Move On, and it crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get The Hell Over It. Any complaints about how we operate, can be forwarded to 1-800-waa-aahh with Dr. Sniffle reporting LIVE from Quitchur Bitchin.

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on May 15, 2012.

4 Responses to “It’s My Pity Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To”

  1. Love this post Well said xxx

  2. […] It’s My Pity Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To ( […]

  3. […] It’s My Pity Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To ( […]

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