Morsel Combat!

I am armed against the Crave Morsels!

I used to love video games. My favourite WII game was Zelda. I even have a little foam sword and shield that fit the controllers. But not so much any more. I’m mostly about Slingo and Zinga Poker on-line. I do still own an original Nintendo complete with a working Duck Shoot Gun. Yes, I am a nerd at heart. I even have a 1970’s Dungeon and Dragons set still in the box. Roll them polyhedron dice.

We all know this is actually about fighting Crave Morsels again. Wouldn’t that make an amazing game where the quest is to find the weapons and strategies to fight off the crave morsels before they become Crave Monsters!!!!

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I was blessed with the favourite: Sunday Buffet Brunch! All the bacon I wanted; fritatta; pan fries; strawberries and whipped cream; very succulent pineapple (of course I know that is good for me); and gloriously, precious, fresh baked goods. Oh yeah, Leanne, Shauna, Norm and Dustin, too. At a great restaurant with an ocean view and all the sun you could want! Thanks all! But…

It’s Monday and I need to combat the cravings for more of the evil foods. The fridge is full of all kinds of things like gravy, strawberries (and rhubarb – that smacks of pie mak’ins), spaghetti, taco stuff, salami and…and…

“Enough!” I yell as I gird on my sword to battle the crave morsels.

” You could make us into an omelette,” they whispered. “Omelettes are good for you…”

” I have lots of fruit!” I counter. “I have Granny Smith apples! MMMMmmmmmmm!”

” Whipped cream. We have a can of whipped cream, Diane. Whipped cream on those strawberries would be sooooo sweet.” they murmured.

“Stop, I say! Stop!”

“Cookies. Coooookies..peanut butter, Fudgeos, Cinnamon Danishes.” Their voices rising. “You know you would love a cinnamon Danish with that amazing coffee you are drinking.”

“My coffee has no calories!” I shout. ” No calories are good calories!”

“You can feel us, can’t you?” They challenged.

” NO! No. No, no…” I am starting to fade. They are pulling in for the kill.

” You could make nachos. You have multigrain tortilla chips. You have lots of veggies to put on the meat and cheese. You have some old white cheddar. that would be nice, wouldn’t it? Cheese is full of protein and calcium. grain and calcium and veggies, so good for you!”

“Halt! I will beat you all!” I yell as I turn to the fridge. I get out a number of things and put them on the counter. This is my sowrd and shield”

“What are you doing? What is she doing? She has so many things out. What is she making?” Many little worried voices query.

“What is that noise? Diane, wha…Oh My God. She has brought out the blender!”  They cry.

” Yoghurt, strawberries, pineapple, a bit of orange juice. I will defeat you, Crave Morsels!” I trumpet!

“Noooo, she’s doing it. She defeats us…” as the voices of the crave monsters are drowned by the whine of the blender.

“MMMMM. I did it! Thank you blender, my sword and my shield, you are!”

I won!

I even found the music for this Blog. The first part is my conversation with the crave monsters and the second part is fighting the monster within! (Also know as the Basil Poledoris creation – Conan the Barbarian “Riddle of Steel and Riders of Doom. Appropriate, don’t you think?)  Click here if it doesn’t show up.

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on May 14, 2012.

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