1fatgirlshrinking

Voice: Diane, wake up!
Me: Whaa?
Voice: It’s time to get up and I’m waiting for you.
Me: You are. Who are you?
Voice: It’s me, Bacon.
Me: Oh!
Bacon: (In the voice of Joey Tribbiani from Friends) How You dooooin’?
Me: OK, I’m up.
Bacon: Welcome to the weekend. Time for Bacon.
Me: You know I’m not supposed to eat bacon.
Bacon: But you know you love me – really love me.
Me Yeah, but…
Bacon: Come on just cook me up and eat me.
Me: I don’t know. I trying to eat better and you have no nutritional value.
Bacon: Bacon makes everything better.
Me: I don’t know. (Sigh)
Bacon: You love me. You know in your heart you love me.
Me: Well, you’re definitely in my heart.
Bacon: See. You know you want me. It’s not that hard.
Me: No, just my arteries.
Bacon: So…..?
Me: Thanks anyways, but I’m going to have a pineapple mango smoothie for breakfast.
Bacon: Noooooooo…..
Me: But I’ll always be thinking of you, Bacon.

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on April 21, 2012.

Posted in advice, anger, anxiety, blessing, BMI, calories, cook, crap, depression, diet, doctor, eating, exercize, fat, feelings, food, guilt, Humor, hunger, life, love, morbid, motivation, obese, obesity, safe, skinny, thanks, Uncategorized, weight loss, weight loss surgery, whine
Tags: arteries, Bacon, heart, Joey Tribbiani, vegan