Eggs

It’s the day before Easter and I have not bought one thing for the girls or Norm. When Shauna and Leanne were little there would be baskets for them and little foil-covered, chocolate eggs hidden all over the house. With my hip issue and having to use walker, I haven’t been shopping for over a week. I actually think I went through withdrawal. If someone puts the walker downstairs for me I can go out. I can get the walker in the trunk and out again and get around the grocery stores but can only hold what fits on the seat. I have made three grocery lists and today I will enlist Norm to help me because I need more than the seat on the walker can hold.  I need eggs!

Eggs are pretty cool to think about. They are a wonderful source of protein and omega fatty acids (good fat) but also a natural source of cholesterol and our animal based systems need some cholesterol. They can be cooked or used in cooking in almost every conceivable way. You can fry them, boil them, roast them, soufflé them, shir them, devil them, stuff them, turn them into salad, use them in salad, use them in drinks, eat them raw etc….. That’s pretty amazing for something that’s actually the pre-embyonic stage of a chicken! Yuck!

You can use them to make people think philosophically. Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Hmmm? How can you drop a raw egg 5 feet without breaking it? (Drop it 6 feet.) Examine the statement – “You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.” What does that really mean? It has been used to  rationalize all types of things including war! Also contemplate the difference between brown and white eggs.  There is only one difference; their colour and that is determined by what colour eggs the hen lays. Brown eggs are not healthier than white eggs but we think they are and are willing to pay more for brown eggs – silly people!

They are entertaining and fun to use in crafts. If you want to know about entertaining try blowing an egg or hard cooking it in the microwave. (Warning – do not do this without the supervision of an adult or a child-like adult!) But to take us back to Easter eggs. We don’t paint them any more. We don’t hide them any more. We eat the chocolate ones even though they have no nutritional value just the releasing of serotonin and I sure could use some serotonin!

So, thanks for listening and have a nice Easter morning. ;D Diane Kirby

…and then there are the jokes:

If you think life is bad. How would you like to be an egg?
* You only get laid once.
* You only get eaten once.
* It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft.
* You share your box with 11 other guys.
* But worst of all…. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.

So cheer up…..Your life ain’t that bad!!!

Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay, I mean day.

This joke was submitted to the Joke Yard by: Angelo S.

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~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on April 7, 2012.

5 Responses to “Eggs”

  1. Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.

  2. Awe Diane. We love ya and miss ya even more!!!

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  4. Thanks for the info on Eggs 1fatgirlshrinking, it’ll be really beneficial.

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