Am I a Carnevoyeur? Nope, an Omnivoryeur!

I am so hungry. I’m feeling that hunger that gnaws at your stomach so hard you feel it in your spine. I already drank 20 ounces of water and I’m still hungry. I don’t have a specific craving just the hunger. I do believe I would make a great vampire except I’m the wrong body shape/type. I’ve never seen an endomorph, apple-shaped vampire. Sigh! Oh, well, maybe yogurt dip and a crap load of carrot sticks.  By-the-way, crap load is a metric measurement. A shit load is a standard measurement – Imperial or American.

Sometimes I get my food fix watching the Food Channel: Eat Street; Diners, Drive-ins and Dives; Top Chef; Iron Chef (Crabs again,really? Iron Chef got crabs again?); Bitch’n Kitchen (but I hate the upholstered cabinets) and Chuck’s Day Off (Chuck cooks food for his friends on his day off – my, my!).  Sigh, I believe I get the most vicarious eating experience from Eat Street and Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Huge, breakfast skillets loaded with homemade sausage, every kind of burger you can imagine smothered in dripping, greasy cheese and sandwiches stuffed with the kitchen sink on a sidewalk – these entertain me.

The Urban Dictionary defines Carnevoyeur as a vegetarian who derives satisfaction from watching other people eat meat or hearing about the eating of meat. I guess, technically, I’m not a vegetarian but I sure get pleasure from watching people eat. Maybe I’m a omnivoryeur! Yep, that sounds right. I enjoy watching people enjoying eating anything. I think that’s why I like cooking. I vicariously enjoy my food through those who eat it. In fact, I’m beginning to believe my self-esteem is tied up in my cooking. I guess I do ask anyone eating my cooking if it’s OK. I love seeing people roll their eyes after the first mouthful and then ask for the recipe. But I’ll warn you – do not try to give one of my recipes to your Mom or wife because it’s the best you ever tasted.  Your Mother or wife’s cooking is always the best!! That way you will live to an old, wise age!

Is it our “feed me right now” mentality that has made cooking shows so popular? Did you know that you can do entire international food tours? We have super-sized our selves into morbidity and insecurity. Fast food places have made home-cooked meals seem old-fashioned and boring unless you’re at a restaurant eating an old-fashioned, home-cooked meal.  It’s lies, really, lies. Imagine if everyone had to make everything they ate! Their joy would be infinitely more satisfactory or they would be very slim, indeed!

I’m not so hungry now. Thanks for listening. ;D Diane



~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on March 4, 2012.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: