Porn Chowder

It’s times like this that I love being a teacher of adults. I just found a copy of a Foods and Nutrition 12  recipe we did on Monday. It was called “Diane’s Corn Chowder”.  But…the one I found today was relabelled “Diane’s Porn Phowder”.  A pencil can be powerful but, really, PORN PHOWDER???? How the heck do you make Porn Phowder.

Corn or Porn?

Actually, food can be pretty erotic: fresh figs; strawberries with or with out chocolate; perfectly cooked steak; whipped cream (not Cool Whhhip); poutine; haggis… Okay, it’s definitely subjective, but, I have had a love/hate relationship with food for  most of my life.

My Dad was a sailor since the 50’s so we were pretty poor back in the day.  I was raised on powdered milk and margarine.  I swear my Mom had a fist edition “101 Ways to Cook Hamburger”.  I remember my Mom’s hamburgers, which were like little savoury meatloaves!  MMMMmmmm.  Fried hotdogs on fried buns (we lived in apartments and only got BBQ when we visited Toronto – the home of cool relatives).  Apple crisp, lots of brown sugar on the cream of wheat.  My mouth is watering and it’s only morning.  Quite a while ago, I took part in a program for Adult Children of Alcoholics and at one point we were supposed to visualize a safe place in our childhood home and go there.  We moved so much I couldn’t visualize one place but a kitchen did appear but that wasn’t what made me feel safe it was a smell, popcorn. Popcorn still makes me feel safe and, as anyone can tell you, there is a difference in the smell of theatre popcorn and home popped.  Safety and comfort. Oh yeah, definitely not porn corn.

Food should be just the stuff that keeps you nourished.  (Whoops, shoulding on poor innocent food.) But we all know that isn’t the way for a lot of us trying to lose weight.  I have a love affair with food.  I love cooking it, smelling it, eating it and wearing it (as excess padding of course). This even extends to computer food porn.  Do you know how many sites are related to food?  Recipes, pictures, reviews, there is even a whole food channel.  Even Norm knows who Bobby Flay is. Youtube can show you how to grow it, make it and eat it. It’s become such an ingrained (inadvertent food reference but it does have fibre) part of our society.

So, what’s a shrinking woman to do?  I think I’ll drink my fresh coffee and read the paper.  But I will try to avoid the Food section even though Eric Akis is my favourite.

Thanks for listening, here’s a reward for you. ;D   Diane

Diane’s Corn Chowder

4-6 sliced bacon – chopped
1 medium onion – chopped
2 ribs celery – chopped
4 medium potatoes – cut into 1/4 inch pieces (peel or not)
4 cups water
2 cans corn or 3 cups frozen corn
2 cups light cream or milk
1 sprig fresh thyme or 1/2 teaspoon of dried thyme
salt and pepper to taste

1.  Brown bacon in the bottom of a heavy 4 litre pot until crisp.  Put aside.
2.  Sauté onions and celery in the bacon fat until onions are translucent.
3.  Add potatoes, corn, water and thyme and bring to a boil.
4.  Boil gently until potatoes are cooked.
5.  Add milk and bring to a simmer adding salt and pepper to taste
6. Stir in bacon and serve.

You can add ham, clams, shrimp, raw white fish at the stage you add the milk or…
smoked salmon or other cooked fish at the end when you would have added the bacon.

~ by 1fatgirlshrinking - Diane Kirby on December 3, 2011.

One Response to “Porn Chowder”

  1. Your chowder recipe is very similar to my own. Yummy

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