Pain in the Head or Ass?

•July 22, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Pain is a pretty broad subject to be writing about and I believe it’s time to do it. I don’t like pain and I personally believe that the more “chronic” pain I experience the more sensitive I become to any kind of pain.

I can be a pain in the ass. What the hell does that mean? Do I make your bottom sore? Does mean I annoy people? To I cause trouble? Yes, to all of them! But I don’t have a pain in my ass at the moment. I have had a huge one but an orthopod (orthopaedic surgeon) and 10 months off work fixed it. But because my body is falling apart, I am in a constant state of pain. And…this can also make me a pain…




This morning while I was sitting in the kitchen, minding my own business and drinking my third cup of coffee I noticed something. I was feeling no pain. I froze. I checked myself from head to toe and … nope… no pain. Then I moved. OWWWWW! My knee screamed and my shoulder felt like someone was ripping it out. That was more normal. I got up and took my meds. Yep, I’m on heavy duty meds.

pillsSo why all the pain? I have osteoarthritis in my shoulders and knees. In fact, my right shoulder and right knee are going to be replaced this year. For my birthday in October my shoulder gets done. This way it will be healed in a few months and I will be able to use crutches or a walker for when my knee gets done. I have two artificial hips and from when I was diagnosed to the first one it was five years, so, I know what pain is. I also know that there are painkillers and I’ve had many including: aspirin, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, codeine, morphine, oxycontin, oxycodone, tramacet, tramadol, demerol …

I was trying to remember how old I was when I recognized pain and I couldn’t. It was probably when I was learning to walk and falling or maybe it was when I fell off a swing and cracked my head open. I don’t know. I do remember sliding down a snow covered hill in Quebec and sliding my right knee right into pile of very hard , frozen rocks. It hurt like heck (I was young and not allowed to curse).  I know there were other times, too. but…

Girls turning to women learn about pain when the have their first period. CRAMPS!!!! They hurt like hell! And I mean hell. Then there’s the pain of watching your Mom go into labour. Oh, my God, I had that to look forward to?????

SailorSurgery, falls, bruises, splinters, broken bones, head aches, stomach aches, stubbed toes – all pain!!!! Take a pain killer and rest. That usually worked. But then there was emotional pain. My Dad was in the navy so he was away a lot especially when I was younger. When he left there was a kind of pain – an empty ache when some asked where my Dad was or at bedtime and he hadn’t kissed me goodnight. My Mom helped the pain be less and I sucked it up and didn’t notice it very often.

Because my Dad was in the navy we had to move a lot, too, almost every two years.  This meant leaving homes, friends and schools behind. That hurt, but I got used to it and didn’t really notice it but it was always there in the back ground. Then there’s the pain bullies give you. Sure you can label the ones that hit you or push you around but the pain brought on by the ones who called you names and made fun of you can be with you always. I still feel that pain, too. Oxycontin doesn’t make that one go away.

So, how much is in my head and how much is “real”? Can I put them on a scale from one to 10? They ask you that in the hospital. Is it a dull ache or a sharp stabbing thing? Is it general or localized? This isn’t my usual topic but my weight does cause me pain, physical and emotional. I’ll deal with it – somehow.

Thanks for listening.   ;D Diane

Gluten – I’m an Insensitive Glutton

•July 16, 2014 • 3 Comments

Gluten has been getting a really bad rap lately. Some people have an intolerance to gluten or are celiac and my heart goes out to them. But do you know what gluten is? Gluten is the PROTEIN of grain! It’s the sticky part of the grain that makes the cake rise and bread hold all the bubbles around the good stuff. Yep, the protein not the fattening starch part. People with celiac disease cannot digest wheat, rye, spelt, or barley but they usually can handle corn gluten and that is in almost every processed food you can imagine. Others may have an allergy or a sensitivity to wheat, not the gluten, but the actual grain. Most food allergies are against the proteins in foods. A milk allergy is about the milk protein not the lactose (milk sugar) intolerance – that’s different. Proteins are the building blocks of cells not the fuel that they burn – carbohydrates are the fuels. And if your body has some extra fat – adding more carbs not proteins will cause your body to add them to your body as more fat for fuel. The carbohydrates in “gluten-free” foods are mostly starch and sugar with the protein (gluten) removed or it was never present. For example, rice, is mostly starch. If you’ve ever cooked rice pasta you know it falls apart if even overcooked a tiny bit – no gluten.

gluten free

But what is really making me miffed is the food trend to disrespect gluten without a good reason. Eating “gluten free” will not help you lose weight if you are replacing your gluten-laden foods with gluten free products. You will be just cutting protein and replacing it with more starch. It’s trendy, a fad, “Gluten Free” on a menu is excellent marketing even if they only mean wheat gluten. 

I actually love certain gluten-laden foods – pretzel buns, foccacia bread, bagels, fresh pasta, and of course, fresh baked bread. But, and it is the omnipresent but”, because I want to lose weight I try to cut out all carbohydrates like starch and sugar. So, this means I don’t get the gluten from wheat either. Sigh! I have a food sensitivity, too but it is to calories. They love me and they are so difficult to burn off after ingested. I am also insensitive to trendoids – people who follow food trends because they saw it on Dr Oz, or their friends say…."Gluten Free" on a menu is excellent marketing even if they only mean wheat gluten.

So, next time if someone says they are going gluten free, ask them if they know what gluten is and why they are avoiding it. The answers may be legit or…trendoid!

Thanks for listening.  ;D  Diane



The Lure of Bacon – No Carbs!!!!!

•July 11, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Eat baconAtkins Diet fans will tell you that if you are addicted to bacon then Atkins is the diet for you. And, the Paleo Diet pusher will tell you that bacon is the chocolate of their world! I just realized that these diets were invented by men but I can almost guarantee that their breakfasts were cooked by women and they knew their men loved bacon.

I love bacon and it has no carbs. I’ve been following a slightly altered “No White Food Diet” for years. Most white food is very high in bad carbohydrates, for example processed flour, sugar, white bread, ice cream, pasta, potatoes, rice etc. If you cut all those out of your diet you will lose weight. Also, those foods have a high glycemic index. That means their carbs can make your blood sugar rise like a rocket. Not good for anyone threatened by diabetes. Bacon has NO glycemic index and it tastes soooo good.

Bacon has become the new vanilla. Yes, it is a very popular flavour and is popping up in very unlikely places like vodka! Yep, vodka and marmalade. Imagine the rich flavour of oranges, brown sugar and bacon. It’s actually slightly spectacular. You can get chocolate covered bacon, bacon in ice cream and bacon flavoured beer (yuk – but I’m still on the wire when I think about a Bloody Caesar with bacon vodka – hmmmm). Bacon and cheddar chips are highly addictive. You have been warned.

bacon typesThere are also may kinds of bacon. Your regular slab of cured and smoked pork belly is wonderful Then it can be flavoured with maple, hickory, brown sugar etc. Sigh. There is Ayeshire bacon, Canadian Bacon, Irish bacon and so on! I’m not even counting turkey bacon, chicken bacon and fake’n bacon (it’s made with soya stuff or coconut –  yeww).

Bacon has a wonderful flavour profile (I’ve been watching the Food Channel again). It can be eaten for any meal and in many snacks. It can enhance foods such as spinach salad, omelettes, and wrap the wonderful fillet mignon. And, the wonderful by-product of bacon, bacon fat, can be used to pop corn, fry potatoes, eggs and actually used to replace butter or margarine in almost any recipe. But..

There’s always a “but” for something as wonderful as bacon. FAT! Yes, bacon is mostly fat. And it’s the really bad kind of fat. Saturated – raise your cholesterol –  fat! Oh well, if was fun when it lasted and like 70% cacao chocolate, I must limit my intake of bacon for the sake of my poor arteries which are pretty good according to my last blood tests.

But, (yes, another but) to hell with the Baconator (too many carbs from the bun) and Red Barn double-smoked bacon will purchased when on sale only. I will enjoy my bacon as a treat and when I can afford the extra calories even though I know it has absolutely no carbs on its own. I will fill myself with veggies and fruit. After all, it is the season. Norm made me a garden and food from the garden is best for us, right?Bacon seeds

Thanks for listening. ;D  Diane

Restaurant Leftovers – Good or bad?

•July 10, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Doggie-Bag-ImageWe used to call them doggie bags. You know that little bit you take home to the dog…or the babysitter. When I was growing up, people looked down at people who took doggie bags because it looked like you were poor. We were, but then again there were so many of us we never had any leftovers to take home.

In our present North American society, food is piled on your plate. I can’t eat as much in one sitting as I used to so, after 2 or 3 fries the mile high pile sits there. If it was a sandwich or a burger, half sits and stares at me, too.  In fact, I could order a half order and they usually take off a couple of bucks. It’s not worth it so I order a full meal and take the rest home. Sometimes, my leftovers will last 3 meals. Yes, if it was a breakfast skillet (one of my favourite breakfasts especially if covered with hollandaise or cheese) I plan to take it home. Breakfast, lunch and breakfast the next day. This makes a huge calorie investment spread over 3 meals much more reasonable, right?restaurant-leftovers

Now-a-days it’s OK to ask to have it wrapped to go. Some places bring you a carton and you do it yourself and others take your food away and bring it back all packaged. This makes it so much easier to eat out and us largish people know that eating out is so very hard on your diet. Eating out is a treat so the gourmet burger or curry chicken and chips are a reward for going out. I’m being very honest and plead with the rest of you to as honest, too – why would you pay $16 for a salad that you could make at home for $4 with the arugula (free in my garden) and the candied walnuts???? No way! If we’re going out to eat we’re going to treat! So it’s a good thing that we can take the leftovers home and stretch the calories over more meals. Right?

So, now that I’ve had this discussion with myself, I’m going to set up a couple of lunch dates with people I’ve promised to have coffee with over the last couple of months. If I happen to bring home the leftovers, so much the better, right?

Thanks for listening.  ;D  Diane

Heck! It’s Summer Break and I Need a Bathing Suit!

•June 30, 2014 • 2 Comments

ImageIt’s swimsuit season and I’m in need of an appropriate bathing suit. I have an old one and most of the spandex, elastic and bra have disintegrated. My body is also old and mostly disintegrated, too. I have a prominent abdomen, scars on both thighs, droopy boobs (Nice rhyme, eh?) and very low self-esteem. I would look better in a low neckline than I do in low self-esteem.

But bathing suits are so expensive. $150 for so little fabric. Mind you, this is where us “ample” girls get more for our money.

I did buy a “swim skirt” a couple of years ago to go over my old suit and it did hide a multitude sins – mostly my thigh scars and a wee bit of my tummy. Not that my tummy is wee but it only covers a wee bit of it.

The style not the model!

The style not the model!

I like sarong styles but they don’t cover the upper backs of my thighs. Sigh! I guess I’ll have to keep looking and go through that really embarrassing routine of trying on suits while still wearing your underwear. So flattering. If I had the time and energy I would design my own suit! But, then again, where would I find a bra that would fit in properly?

Oh well, I’ll keep dieting and looking. On line is sort of good but hard to return if it doesn’t work out, but way more styles to choose from. I hate the idea of going into a swimsuit store and standing next to a 17 year old holding two bandaids and a cork.

Thanks for listening! ;D  Diane

Dr Oz Is In Trouble

•June 22, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I couldn’t believe the rumours, so I had to speak. Dr Oz has been promoting products and regimens that are not scientifically tested, approved, Ok or maybe, even realistic. Now, I don’t watch his show regularly but I refer to his website frequently. My most popular blog is about the Fat Flush Diet. What I was/am truly promoting is WATER!!!!! Water is good for you. Putting fruit, herbs and spices in it makes it interesting and it works. You feel full and are getting your minimum 8 glasses a day. Now, I, personally, do not know if Dr Oz has tested this or not. But I have and I did lose weight after the 10 days. And my skin looked pretty good, too. But I was also walking a lot and not as hungry at meals, therefore eating less than my ever-eating prompts me to do.

I’m worried about all the things the poor man has promoted. Some are righteous, some are products that  may or may not do you any good. Did you know that acai berries have nothing more in them than blueberries do? And blueberries are a lot cheaper but not so sexy, right.

I’m worried that I may get painted with the same tar brush that Dr Oz is painted with. But that may work out to be a new “Youthful You” treatment. I should have (yes, I’m shoulding on myself) looked at Dr Oz’s audience. If 35.1% of the population of the United States is obese, how come at least one third of Dr Oz’s audience isn’t obese and the obese ones are never in the front rows unless the show is about obesity and even then there is not one third of an obese audience????? Huh? Why?

I know why. It’s the same reason I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror. Dr Oz is only guilty of trying to make us all feel better and do something about ourselves. Can’t fault the thin, rich man for that, can we?

Sorry it took me so long to write I had a really great vacation and it’s hard to get back into a groove. Thanks for listening.  ;D Diane


A Stray Thought

•May 25, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I don’t think I’ll be posting a blog over the next week, so I will leave you with this stray thought.


Thanks for looking!  ;D Diane

Exercise ball


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