Pain is a pretty broad subject to be writing about and I believe it’s time to do it. I don’t like pain and I personally believe that the more “chronic” pain I experience the more sensitive I become to any kind of pain.
I can be a pain in the ass. What the hell does that mean? Do I make your bottom sore? Does mean I annoy people? To I cause trouble? Yes, to all of them! But I don’t have a pain in my ass at the moment. I have had a huge one but an orthopod (orthopaedic surgeon) and 10 months off work fixed it. But because my body is falling apart, I am in a constant state of pain. And…this can also make me a pain…
This morning while I was sitting in the kitchen, minding my own business and drinking my third cup of coffee I noticed something. I was feeling no pain. I froze. I checked myself from head to toe and … nope… no pain. Then I moved. OWWWWW! My knee screamed and my shoulder felt like someone was ripping it out. That was more normal. I got up and took my meds. Yep, I’m on heavy duty meds.
So why all the pain? I have osteoarthritis in my shoulders and knees. In fact, my right shoulder and right knee are going to be replaced this year. For my birthday in October my shoulder gets done. This way it will be healed in a few months and I will be able to use crutches or a walker for when my knee gets done. I have two artificial hips and from when I was diagnosed to the first one it was five years, so, I know what pain is. I also know that there are painkillers and I’ve had many including: aspirin, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, codeine, morphine, oxycontin, oxycodone, tramacet, tramadol, demerol …
I was trying to remember how old I was when I recognized pain and I couldn’t. It was probably when I was learning to walk and falling or maybe it was when I fell off a swing and cracked my head open. I don’t know. I do remember sliding down a snow covered hill in Quebec and sliding my right knee right into pile of very hard , frozen rocks. It hurt like heck (I was young and not allowed to curse). I know there were other times, too. but…
Girls turning to women learn about pain when the have their first period. CRAMPS!!!! They hurt like hell! And I mean hell. Then there’s the pain of watching your Mom go into labour. Oh, my God, I had that to look forward to?????
Surgery, falls, bruises, splinters, broken bones, head aches, stomach aches, stubbed toes – all pain!!!! Take a pain killer and rest. That usually worked. But then there was emotional pain. My Dad was in the navy so he was away a lot especially when I was younger. When he left there was a kind of pain – an empty ache when some asked where my Dad was or at bedtime and he hadn’t kissed me goodnight. My Mom helped the pain be less and I sucked it up and didn’t notice it very often.
Because my Dad was in the navy we had to move a lot, too, almost every two years. This meant leaving homes, friends and schools behind. That hurt, but I got used to it and didn’t really notice it but it was always there in the back ground. Then there’s the pain bullies give you. Sure you can label the ones that hit you or push you around but the pain brought on by the ones who called you names and made fun of you can be with you always. I still feel that pain, too. Oxycontin doesn’t make that one go away.
So, how much is in my head and how much is “real”? Can I put them on a scale from one to 10? They ask you that in the hospital. Is it a dull ache or a sharp stabbing thing? Is it general or localized? This isn’t my usual topic but my weight does cause me pain, physical and emotional. I’ll deal with it – somehow.
Thanks for listening. ;D Diane