The Agressive Guilt Puppy – Trying To Normalize

•June 24, 2015 • Leave a Comment

It’s almost 4 weeks since my right knee was replaced in the most painful surgery I’ve ever had and I’ve had way too many; more than a dozen being completely knocked out. And, on this point, this has given the medical profession the opportunity to find the exact combination of drugs for the perfect level/lack of consciousness for cutting me open without negative side effects except those of the surgery. Sigh, practice makes perfect? But…I’m trying to feel normal now.

One of my many nemesis, The Crave Monster

One of my many nemesis, The Crave Monster

I’m still feeling a wee bit of pain but it’s mostly after doing my exercises and I’ve got more mobility in my knee, even my orthopod (orthopedic surgeon) is happy with my progress. I’m off the heavy painkillers and only taking the “on-demand” ones. I’m moving around a lot more. I’ve been out of the house a couple times in the last week for wonderful social situations. I’ve started cooking, cleaning and doing mousewifey things as I can. I still get tired, sore and cranky but not as often or fast. I’m beginning to normalize. But there is a down side to trying to normalize – The Crave Monster.

I had lost 14 pounds after the surgery and truly didn’t feel very hungry. And when I ate I couldn’t eat very much, but – my appetite is coming back, and with it The Crave Monster. I’ve been wanting fries, chips, almost any salty snack….but there aren’t many in the house so I don’t have to fight too much. But Norm bought Hawkins Cheezies the last time he went shopping and I know they’re there. Up there on top of the fridge – calling me –  hawkins cheeziesnice salty, cheesy, crunchy corn. Each nugget is a unique shape and the bright orange flavour dust is distributed in varying concentration – MMMmmmm…

Sigh, along with The Crave Monster comes the guilt puppy(ies). I don’t need junk food. I have apples and plums. I have eggs and so many baby carrots… Oh yeah, the lettuce in the garden is growing like weeds so salad city, here we come. I’ll put tomatoes on the shopping list, we’re all out. I don’t want to gain any weight back. I’m very close to a milestone weigh-in and I want to make that one this summer and go back to work in September as the “new and improved Diane”.

I will use this aggressive guilt puppy to help guide me. I want to be as normal as I can. Cravings are normal but healthy is more normal, right? Thanks for listening.  ;D  Diane

Hand reaching for Cheezies

Hand reaching for Cheezies!

New Parts – Same Old Same Old

•June 15, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I haven’t posted anything in a couple of weeks. I had a full knee replacement on May 29th and am now just beginning to feel human again – except I’m actually less human and more bionic. I have many parts in me that my husband is not legally married to. I also set off every scanning device at an airport or border crossing. Sigh.

Bionic woman

I actually owned a jumpsuit like this a long time ago but I didn’t look like her, though.

I now have two complete hip replacements, one complete right shoulder, a new complete right knee and a lens in my left eye. Eat your heart out Lindsay Wagner.

This was the most painful surgery I’ve ever had and it still is uncomfortable as I learn to bend and straighten my knee again. It could take weight right away but my thigh muscles hated me. I think it’s because I’ve insulted them with so much abuse with the hip and the knee. More sighs.

Now, the good news – I was in so much pain I wasn’t hungry. It will be a while before I can exercise with the intensity to lose calories but…I’m not eating to the capacity I was before. But, I am now just starting to cook again. Norm, bless him, has been feeding himself and me. He has learned to read instructions on packages; to set the oven and timer; why tinfoil has a shiny and a dull side and why we thaw certain things before cooking. He’s a very quick learner. Now if I could get him to clean out the yucky stuff in the veggie and fruit drawers. If he can’t see it, it doesn’t exist, right?

So, right now I weigh less than when I had the surgery. But as I get around more and more, food is finding its way into my cozy nest on the love seat in the living room. Thanks goodness for strawberry season and really good Greek yogurt.

Fast womanOkay, I’ve written again so my excuses are nullified for now. I get my staples out today and see my regular doctor tomorrow so we will have official comments soon. It won’t be long until I’m running in the fast lane. HA!

Thanks for listening. ;D  Diane

PS: The hospital food was horrifying. Good diet plan – don’t eat.

Celebrating Around Food – Giving In To The Crave

•May 27, 2015 • Leave a Comment

It’s so easy to use celebrations for excess eating. The other night I celebrated my 38th wedding anniversary at a wonderful restaurant on the top of Bear Mountain. It was a celebration of the spot prawn, a wonderful creature in abundance in the waters around our part of Vancouver Island. It was actually 2 days after my anniversary because on our anniversary I went out for dinner with 3 girlfriends, celebrating because one was visiting from Calgary and it was the only time all of us could see each other. And..we had been out the night before to celebrate our oldest daughter’s birthday. Before that, Mother’s Day – much celebrating. The Log House Pub celebrated my request for a tequila Caesar! Sigh some many wonderful things to celebrate – around food.

Satisfied Guilt PuppyCelebrating things like anniversaries allows me to order what I crave – prawns, mmmmmm. Whether it’s at a 4-star restaurant or Swiss Chalet, celebrating is a wonderful time to chuck the diet and eat what you are really craving. Yep, fries with that, the hot chicken sandwich with not only tons of gravy but thick white bread. I know it lasted three meals but what about the cheesecake the other night? It was part of the 4 course prawn celebration and Norm ate at least half of it!

But it was all good and I loved it. My fridge was full of chicken, Thai and other leftovers for my lunches all the last week. That’s a good thing, isn’t it? So why do I feel so guilty, still? Because my heart and head are good. turns out I didn’t gain a pound. I guess because I talk so much when I’m out with people I eat slower and get full before I’m finished. I consume less per meal. This gives me lots of restaurant/celebration food to take home for other meals. And, as a bonus, I didn’t and don’t have to cook! Nice! Oops, something more to celebrate. Now, let me see, what am I craving?

Thanks for listening.   ;D

New knee coming up!

I Hang My Head In Shame

•May 18, 2015 • 1 Comment

I have been avoiding writing my blog because I have gained weight. Lots of weight. I’m eating all kinds of things I shouldn’t be eating; I’m not exercising and I know what I’m doing is bad. The shame of it. Public service thin

I actually believe that I’m feeling really sorry for myself – again! I’m in pain pretty much 24/7 and I’m trying to get a pile of things done before knee replacement surgery on the 29th of this month. This is s long weekend and if I go out on the deck, it’s right next to the kitchen with all kinds of goodies in it. Blueberries with French vanilla yogurt sounds good doesn’t it? It is and a little more and a little more and…

So, now, by writing and posting this I’m hanging it out for all to see and this will motivate me to stay on my diet and do the things I’m supposed to do. Already I don’t feel hungry and it’s lunch time, not that waiting for a specific eating time ever stopped me before. But I am more aware. Self aware.

I am an emotional eater. My biggest problem is that I am a very emotional person and with every emotion – and there are hundreds – I eat. But I make the choices that go with my emotions. no one else does. I can’t blame anyone but myself. I have problems but it’s what I choose to do about them is what I am responsible for. And if you ask anyone who knows me they will tell you that I am a very responsible person. Ha! I’ve fooled them all!

Not really, I am a grown-up (chronologically) and can act like one. So I will. Back on the good food wagon. I’ll be making love to the veggies and fruit that fill my fridge. Lose weight lose keys

Thanks for listening. ;D  Diane


•May 9, 2015 • Leave a Comment

What the hell is “gastroeconomics“? I read it in a blog this morning by . It’s where you look at the calories of something you eat and how the food is going to affect you. You can save calories, burn calories, too much has an effect and too few also have an affect. You can hoard calories for a special occasion and you can go over budget and suffer the consequences. POUNDS!

I’ve never considered looking at food and eating in the same light as economics but it really does work that way. What do you think? Are you over budget, I went over last night so I’ll have to “save” some today to make up for the shortfall. maybe a good walk will work off some of my debt, too.

Thanks for listening. ;D Diane

Carrot Cake

Times-Colonist May 2015

Skinny Jeans – Mine or Oprah’s

•April 27, 2015 • Leave a Comment
Oprah's Skin Tight Jeans

Oprah’s Skin Tight Jeans vs Comfy Jeans

I’ve been thinking about what “skinny jeans” actually means. The first time I heard about skinny jeans relating to the size of the wearer was on Oprah. She had a pair of jeans she couldn’t wear because she was too big for them so she used them as motivation to lose a ton of weight (not literally but I bet she’s lost and found at least a ton in her lifetime). She called them her “skinny jeans” meaning she would have to be skinny to wear them.

I will never be skinny. I do not have a single pair of jeans in my closet to motivate me. Oops, I lie, I have a pair of size 28 jeans from my heaviest (300 pounds). They are huge but I remember them as a wee bit loose and most 300 pound women don’t have anything loose. They are now my “before” jeans but I haven’t dared to buy any “after” jeans. I truly have not set a final weight goal. I have an “about” goal of about 150 pounds. But 175 might be better for me. I won’t know until I get there.

Back to skinny jeans. No jeans will make me look skinny…ever! But I have 2 pairs of jeans labeled “Skinny”. They have narrow legs, above the hip waistlines so it actually looks like I have a waist, great stretchability and they are size 18. To be under a size 20 is an accomplishment for me. I like them. But my favourite are my jeggings. Jeggings are jeans so tight, stretchy and lighter denim than regular; they are jeans crossed with leggings = jeggings. They do make me look thinner and they also have an elastic waist (mmmm so comfy). But since I bought them I’ve lost a bit more weight so they are not skin tight on me like leggins would be but they are my favourite jeans. I could call them my “skinny jeans” but since I’m wearing them now, they are not that great of a motivator. Sigh. oprah_skinny_jeansPlaces like Lane Bryant and Pennington’s have all kinds of jeans with style names like “curvy”, “flare”, “boyfriend”, “cuffed capri”, and even “genius fit” with the state of the art “tummy tightener”. More sighs.

When I get to where I want to be I will have to find new jeans and they’ll then become my “goal jeans”, but that will be after the fact and the styles may have changed by then to bell-bottoms (and my bottom is not as big as the Liberty Bell but close), boyfriend jeans (Norm’s jeans are way too small for me) or high-waisted boot cut. Now try and get motivated by those!!!

OK, I won’t buy any more jeans until these ones are falling off me either from being way too big or just worn out. And even if they are cut slim and I look great in them, I don’t think they’ll be skinny because I sure won’t be. And according to my daughter, Shauna, being called skinny isn’t as fun as it sounds!

Thanks for listening.  ;D  Diane


Detox Water – Dr Oz and Oprah Will Love This

•April 18, 2015 • 3 Comments

Did you drink your 8 glasses of water yesterday? I did. I love water. I love ice water, Fat flush water, lemon-lime sparkling water, even whiskey and water. And when I see things like Detox Water it makes me feel really good that lots of people are making water even better themselves and others!!!! Dr oz and Oprah are always looking for ways to help themselves like water. And adding stuff to it works!!! I actually have a litre (quart) of fat flush water in my fridge right now. MMmmmmm…

So, how do you make Detox Water?

Detox waterYep, it’s that easy. If you’re using the long English cucumbers you only use half. You’re going to go through a lot of lemons, cukes and mint. I’ve refilled the jug once and it tasted just a little bit weaker. You can even grow the mint in your own garden, just don’t grow it where anything else grows because mint will take over everything.

Try it. Drink your 8 cups of water and feel really good about it. I truly like ginger and lemon water, and limes and ruby grapefruit in sparkling lemon-lime water. It tastes truly exotic and beats pop. Just remember never to use soda or mineral water. They have too many minerals and may have too much salt as well.

Thanks for listening and pass it on to Oprah and Dr Oz. But I’m thinking it’ll show up in their “secrets” episodes.

;D  Diane


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